It’s perfect. You’ve found one another. You love everything about each other, except … the stuff. What does it mean to create a marriage of two individual households? You’ve spent your life discovering who you are, and your home has always been a reflection of that. How do you blend two households together into one harmonious home?
Define and Refine Your Style
If one person is modern minimalist and the other tends to be more traditional, how do you go about blending the two very divergent styles? This is the question of the ages. There are two levels to this. On one hand, it’s very easy to blend these two things. For example, the clean lines of a modern sofa play off the sinuous lines of an 18th century Italian armoire, allowing each to be accentuated by the other. On the other hand … this is where compromise comes into play. Deciding to blend isn’t itself a difficult task; the challenge is in the personal adjustment to the change. This new change becomes a direct reflection of your marriage together, and some of the individual expressions from the past may no longer fit. The key to defining a new style together is communication!
Take Inventory
What are the non-negotiable items? You may be surprised to realize that your list of must-haves is actually quite small. When you get down to it, taking a conscious inventory of your belongings helps you realize there are very few things you can’t live without. Next, choose negotiable things — belongings you are willing to live without or, at the very least, put into storage. Marriage is full of negotiations, and while we don’t advocate using furniture like trading cards, you have to pick your battles. Finally, take this opportunity to get rid of items that really don’t mean anything and are simply taking up space — tired lamps, old bedding, saggy side chairs. When you find duplications between households, choose the items that fit and donate or sell the rest.
But What About Aunt Martha’s Antique Buffet?
There may be some items you have to keep even though they don’t fit in your current living situation. What do you do? Try and take a creative approach. Just because an item was originally intended for a specific use (like a buffet), it doesn’t mean you need to use it like that in your current home. It might double for storage in a guest bedroom, as an entry piece or even a media stand. Keeping things with sentimental value makes sense when you consider that your first home together probably won’t be your last. Plus, there is always long-term storage!
Yours, Mine and Ours
Part of creating together is determining if you are going to take your blended style throughout the house or maintain your own personal style in specific areas. Perhaps the common or public areas are blended together, but you keep your own preferences in spaces that matter most to you — media rooms, kitchens, master bedrooms. Not everyone is equally vested in each room. Often one spouse cares more about an individual space than the other.
Two’s Company, Three Can Be Better!
Consider hiring the services of a professional interior designer. His or her objectivity and expertise with space planning will lend itself to the successful incorporation of your two households into one. He or she can give you a fresh perspective and bring up important considerations. A small price to pay for wedded bliss! Give yourself permission to enjoy the process and keep in mind that it doesn’t happen overnight — just as a marriage evolves over time, so will the home you create together.
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